Four years ago, I shared my journey of going to therapy for the first time. Since then, I’ve had countless conversations with clients about their doubts and uncertainties when considering therapy. Today, I want to revisit those themes and address some common, often unspoken questions you might have if you’re contemplating whether therapy is right for you.

Is Therapy Right for You?

You might be wondering: Will therapy work for me? Do I need it? How will it help? What will be asked of me? Do I have to divulge my past and all my childhood stories and events? Will it solve my problems?

These are all valid questions and concerns. It helps to gather some information beforehand, especially if you’ve never seen a therapist before. Understanding how a therapist works and what they might expect from you during sessions is crucial.

What to Expect in Therapy

Trusting the process is key. Being willing to talk is essential, but more than just talking, therapy is about feeling the content you discuss. There’s a subtle yet profound difference between speaking from the heart versus speaking from the mind. Eventually, you’ll learn to share and open up, connecting to the pain and frustration rather than just describing it intellectually. This emotional connection is vital for meaningful resolution, whereas staying at the intellectual level is a defence against feeling.

Different Approaches to Therapy

Some therapists, particularly those trained in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and behavioural psychology, emphasise thinking and doing as the main ingredients for change. This approach suits many people because it is practical, applicable, and measurable. However, as I reflect on my use of therapy and study various techniques, I find that therapy’s true essence lies in the dynamic and fluid exchange between the therapist and client.

The Therapist’s Role

A significant part of therapy is your therapist. Who are they? What do they bring to the consult room? Have they gone to therapy themselves? If not, do they know firsthand what it’s like to be a client? The difference between a therapist who has done their own work and one who hasn’t is like going to a personal trainer who has never trained themselves. The familiarity with pain is a key difference.

Imagine attending one-on-one PT sessions with a trainer who has all the necessary qualifications and experience but has never personally felt the pain under tension. The experience would be different from a trainer who has lived through the experience and come out the other end. This analogy highlights why personal, life, and business coaching are popular—they often involve individuals who have walked the path themselves.

The Relational Dynamic

In therapy, the relationship between therapist and client is crucial. This relationship goes beyond just getting along and being civil; it needs to be real and deep. The relational dynamic is a key factor in the success or failure of therapy. While therapeutic techniques are important, the foundational mirroring of affect—linked to attachment—is what can make therapy successful. Moving beyond the worship of technique to actualise its use in our beings is essential for greater service to clients.

Reflecting on My First Therapy Session

In my first blog, I shared my experience of going to therapy for the first time. I went with the intention of gaining clarity about past events but faced self-doubt. I thought, “I help people for a living, so why can’t I just help myself?” This idea made me feel like a fraud.

During the session, my therapist listened intently, giving me space to articulate my thoughts. Voicing my doubts about the legitimacy of seeking help was a humbling experience. It revealed an unexplored part of my psyche—a defensive reaction stemming from my belief in self-sufficiency.

My therapist acknowledged my honesty and encouraged me to allow change to happen in its own time. This experience underscored the importance of the therapist-client relationship and the need to trust the process.

Moving Forward

I hope this blog helps you navigate the world of therapy and addresses some of your unspoken questions. Remember, therapy is a journey, and finding the right therapist who can connect with you on a deeper level is crucial. Trust the process, be willing to open up, and allow yourself to feel and connect to your emotions. This emotional connection, more than just intellectual understanding, is what makes therapy transformative.

Wellspring Counselling is not a crisis service so if you or someone you know are thinking about suicide please call the Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 or 000 for emergency situations. For emotional distress please call Lifeline 13 11 14, Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78.