Over a decade ago I was at a crossroads deciding what to do post university. I remember many nights wondering and worrying about “where to from here?”. My crossroad consisted of a unique blend of difficulties: uncertainty about gaining employment, the fear of making the wrong decision and lamenting the end of student life. In my student days I dreamt that this climactic moment would be glorious but in reality it was rife with anxiety and fear. This mismatch between my expectations and reality created a disharmony of sorts.

The disharmony I felt generated a host of emotional responses such as uncertainty, fear, grief and stress. Once these emotions presented themselves they were hard to shake off and made navigating my crossroad even more difficult. Emotions are like the tip of an iceberg. What we often don’t know is why they appear, where they come from, and what keeps them there. Just like any iceberg seen above the waterline its actual size is unknown until we dive down below the surface.

Looking below the surface of our emotions takes courage because what we might find can often be difficult truths to grapple with. We might discover the origins of our beliefs, where our family traditions came from and why they exist, and perhaps even discover the patterns of intergenerational trauma. An important step for this is to know that emotions are neither right or wrong, good or bad. If we allow our emotions to be as they are we can learn to use them as indicators towards a deeper understanding of ourselves.

Below the surface of my emotions was this belief about what my life should have been compared to what it actually was. Digging a little deeper revealed hopes and expectations that I had unconsciously internalised from my parents. These weren’t bad or wrong, they were just not authentically mine.

How do we discover these truths that lie beneath the surface of our everyday lives? Well, it doesn’t happen overnight but with steady intention we may have a good chance. One of the ways that helped me was taking time out for my own personal therapy. This meant that I didn’t need to figure out how to pass through the crossroad on my own. As I dug deeper into understanding the source of my emotions through therapy I was able to navigate my crossroad successfully.

If this article has resonated with you and you would like to experience how therapy can guide you through your crossroad, please contact me today as I would be more than happy to book an initial consultation with you.

Wellspring Counselling is not a crisis service so if you or someone you know are thinking about suicide please call the Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 or 000 for emergency situations. For emotional distress please call Lifeline 13 11 14, Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Mensline Australia 1300 78 99 78.