Finding Home, Part 1
A Tale of Survival
My family’s identity has largely been shaped by one thing- migration. This is a significant thread that has held our cultural identities together. It includes my parents’ journey to Australia, my grandfather’s move to Vietnam, and other ancestors who originated from China. Most have lived through and survived wars, threats to their life, poverty, and witnessed various atrocities. These wars were the Battle of Fujian, the First and Second Sino Japanese Wars, and the Vietnam War. I have only been privy to brief descriptions of the horrors that affected them and their community.
However, migration is not and has never been my reality because in my generation we were fortunate enough to grow up during more stable times. The contrast between my life and the lives of the folks before me is like night and day. Yet, there is something to be said about the psychological impact that gets passed down from their generation to mine despite life being all rosy and safe.
Both of my parents were born in Vietnam during the 1950s. After the Fall of Saigon their desire to stay alive and search for a better life led them to flee the country. The Vietnam War dispersed my relatives across the globe to the UK, America and Canada. My parents were one of the boat people who eventually made their way to Australia.
A New Home
My parents were in their 20s when they arrived in Adelaide and met for the first time at Pennington Hostel. My dad came alone and did not know anybody, had no English language skills, and no money. But he smiled a lot and became known as ‘Smiler’ and charmed his way into working two jobs and learning English at night. This man had no formal qualifications nor a complete high school education. Somehow during his first 5 years in Australia he managed to sponsor his eldest brother over, and together they saved enough money to fly the rest of their family from Vietnam.
My parents are incredibly hard workers and underlying this was their self-determination and the innate drive to attain a reasonable level of wealth so that their basic needs are met. It is an extraordinary achievement given the fact that they lived in poverty in Vietnam, managed to flee and survive, and started with nothing when they came to Australia. They found a new home in Australia and did their best to ensure we children had the best possible start to life.
I have wondered, and still do today about the role of survival instincts in the face of extreme experiences that refugee migrants encounter. In particular, how the psyche develops a variety of coping behaviours and beliefs that govern the way we relate to each other and to ourselves.
Follow this link to Part 2 of Finding Home and learn how I navigated the dynamics between my family’s migration story and the effects of intergenerational trauma.
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